The Absolute Top 5 Bars in Oslo
I’m answering the eternal question — what’s the best bar in town?
Even if we’re in the middle of a Protestant heartland, with formidable alcohol taxes yet widespread binge-drinking, there are numerous respectable bars in Oslo. You can live like a transient, if you can afford it. Best of all, the bars are all close to each other — and to you.
Read the one man jury’s statement here
Robinet
If you dare to go down the primordial path, this is the most continental bar in town: intimate, retro, packed with pity or petty nihilists, alleged misanthropists — and their nemeses. Eclectic music selection, everything from techno punk to electro funk. Perfect spot for drinks before and after gigs at surrounding venues like next-door Rockefeller. It’s usually a tranquil place, but it can change its rating from Calvinist retreat to good old Roman debauchery in seconds. So beware!
Supposed to open at 19:00, but don’t rely on that.
Mariboes Gate 7A
Teddy’s
Edward Hopper types might call this place a bit Nighthawk-ish: Original 1950s Ted bar with jukebox, beer, waffles and goat cheese, goulash and burgers. Vintage in both exterior and interior, the milkshake and hot dog signs outside are long outdated, and on the inside an old Wurlitzer jukebox is the first thing you’ll encounter. Perhaps more so than any other bar on this list, Teddy’s is decidedly untrendy, right down to the greasy splotch. The kitchen is as eclectic with its butter as Marlon Brando: the whole place reeks of fried burgers, a liberating odour in times of vegans and freegans. Being nearly 70 years old, it’s said to be the oldest family-run bar in the city. Check out the painted wallpaper — it actually has cultural heritage status. Same goes for its dicey regulars. Fact!
Brugata 3
Last Train
Legendary rock bar and live venue next to Karl Johans gate. The ‘birthplace’ for many renowned (and many unknown) Oslo based bands like Turbonegro, Astroburger, Dog Age, Big Bang, King Midas, We, Madrugada and Gluecifer, and a favourite retreat for other infamous Scandi-rock bands like Soundtrack of Our Lives, Hellacopters and The Hives. Packed live music nights. Many bars in Oslo offer live performances, but few are so entrenched in the music scene as LT.
Karl Johans gate 45 lasttrain.no
Bar Lardo
Any quality bar has always aspired to uphold the holy trinity of smokes, alcohol and salty meats. Modern times has reduced these essentials to a healthy balance, while the smokers have been shown the door. So much for James Dean and Eva Gardner. With its Mediterranean zing, Bar Lardo (or Jamónet, as the locals call this den) insists on eco-friendly wines and short travelled, eco-friendly curing. Yes, these healthy swine have been salted and hung to dry in a warehouse just a block away by local fennel-loving butchers.
Møllergata 38
Kniven Bar
The best thing about this bar is the story behind it (and its music — the best in town!): Dan the Metal Head tries to stop a graffiti ‘artist’ plying his trade on a wall just around the corner from where this bar now stands. He gets attacked with a knife and has a vital artery sliced open, but luckily he survives. The attacker gets imprisoned and Dan gets injury compensation, which he invests in opening this bar. He calls it — wait for it! — The Knife (Kniven), in homage to his survival, most likely, but maybe to the weapon itself. Anyway, enough talk. Stick on some Slayer!
Bernt Ankers gate 5 knivenbar.no
Editorial comment: There are so many great bars not mentioned in this listing: cocktail bars, wine bars, bars for handsome people, bars for us ordinary repulsive people, and last but not least, all the new bars popping up in the neighbourhoods, helping out making shit city less shitty. This list is probably the ‘best of’ the shittiest bar list. Note to self, time to make more lists!